Context: This exercise is used in open discussions with men when relevance has been established regarding how you may assist them and their important relationships. When to use: Use with clients when engagement has occurred. A good level of trust and respect is required to enable honesty to occur.
Conducting the exercise: The non-deficit assumptions are active words that provide men with a direction for their responses to issues. They are powerful verbs and can be used by practitioners as they talk with male clients. For example...
Commit – How do you show your commitment to your children?
Choose – What is an important choice you have made this week that has had a significant impact on other people?
Care – Can you tell me about an experience when you cared for and nurtured (child’s name)? What did you learn about nurturing children from that experience?
Change – Can you tell me about any important changes or sacrifices you have made in your life that demonstrate how much you care about (child’s name)?
Create – Are there any particular things that help you to create a safe and special place for (child’s name) and provide what he/she needs you from you?
Connect – Can you tell me about an experience when you felt especially close emotionally and connected to (child’s name)? What meaning does that experience have for you now?
Communicate – Can you tell me about the most enjoyable time you’ve ever had communicating (talking, playing, laughing etc) with (child’s name)? What meaning does that experience have for you now?